Stuck: Why We Can’t (or Won’t) Move On by Anneli Rufus

Stuck: Why We Can’t (or Won’t) Move On by Anneli RufusDo you feel stuck? If so, would you describe your experience equal to feeling trapped, endlessly chained to a treadmill, marooned, or do you feel frozen? The book Stuck: Why We Can’t (or Won’t) Move On by Anneli Rufus identifies many reasons why and how we might have come to be marooned in a career, relationship, location or even a bad habit.

I purchased the book on high recommendations from friends. I started reading it over a year ago and lost interest. With newfound vigor as 2018 began, I decided to give it another go. Alas (we’d don’t use this word enough in my opinion), I ended up skim reading (my own home version) for the bulk of the book.

Here are two favorite gems I plucked from the book:

“Their stuckness in the past and absence from the present is a chorused cri de coeur . . . They don’t consider themselves stuck. They consider themselves correct.” (see pg. 22)

Rufus also refers to Martin Seligman as “an expert on learned helplessness.” Seligman holds the opinion that we often choose our own imprisonment—electing to “become victims, ‘survivors’ of abuse,” rather than embrace other roles or identities. Seligman notes that while past trauma hurts, it “does not hurt as much as failure hurts. Being a victim, blaming someone else, or even blaming the system is a powerful and increasingly widespread form of consolation.”  (See pg. 214)

Here’s how I doodle-rate this book:

To be fair, Anneli Rufus has a brilliant mind and the writing is compelling. The talking points, however, didn’t capture my interest. If the topic seems interesting to you, don’t discount it until you’ve learned more. These two sources, for instance, might be useful:

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When clients come into the office with the experience of being stuck, we at SoulSalt recommend one of the following resources:
Feel free to contact us here should you want more detail.