When you learn how to control your thoughts, you open your life to unlimited possibilities.
The inner voice can be a source of growth and positivity — but it’s often a negative critic that loves to remind us of our failures, limitations, and anxieties.
There are many forms of limited thinking, but all of them can take you away from what you want and need. They keep you stuck in old patterns and stop you from making changes that would bring you closer to your definition of success.
These techniques will help step outside of the cycle of negative thinking and open your mind to limitless possibilities.
What are your thoughts?
When you really think about it, thoughts are amazing, miraculous even. Our brains have the ability to conjure up memories, songs, images, sounds, and speech.
But how can these abstract images and ideas simply appear in our minds?
Neuroscientists describe thought as “mental representation”. Neurons release chemicals, known as neurotransmitters, which generate electrical signals that spread like a wave to thousands of neighboring neurons.
It’s a process that occurs in the prefrontal neurons of the brain, according to research by Patricia Goldman-Rakic.
Thoughts are defined as:
Cognitive behavior in which ideas, images, mental representations, or other hypothetical elements of thought are experienced or manipulated. In this sense, thinking includes imagining, remembering, problem solving, daydreaming, free association, concept formation, and many other processes.
The APA Dictionary of Psychology
Thoughts are truly mysterious and incredible! They help you come up with solutions to difficult problems. They inspire great works of art and music. They help you connect with a lost loved one through memory. We can relive an event, in our minds, without actually seeing those people and places.
But thoughts can also create a prison of fear, anxiety, and worry.
When left unchecked, the mind can take you to dark places. You live in a cycle of self-doubt that prevents you from facing new challenges. This type of thought holds you back from experiencing the world and taking those small risks needed to succeed.
That’s why it becomes so important to learn how to control your thoughts.
Can you control your thoughts?
Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.
The Buddha, from the Dhammapada
Long before neuroscience or psychology even existed, monks in ancient civilizations, like India, Nepal, and Tibet, developed their own exercises of the mind. These methods for taking control of your thoughts are just as useful today.
For the untrained mind, life can feel overwhelming. Any emotional outburst can set you into a fit of rage. One critical comment can send you down a rabbit hole of self-doubt. You become reactive and impulsive to every thought and emotion.
Your thoughts control you.
What if you could take the reins?
Vedic traditions describe the mind like a chariot: you are the driver and the horses represent the different senses. When you let your thoughts and emotions take control, the chariot gets pulled in all sorts of directions.
Practices like meditation allow you to master the senses. When thoughts arise, you take a moment to pause and observe.
By bringing awareness to a thought, you release some of its power. You notice a separation between those thoughts and the self.
You are not the anger, sadness, or anxiety. You are, instead, the observer experiencing those thoughts and emotions.
As the observer of your thoughts, you take back the reins and control the direction of your chariot. This simple awareness, called mindfulness, gives you a moment to take a step back before you decide how to respond.
Many of these traditional meditation practices from thousands of years ago are well-known all over the world today. Mindfulness meditation and similar practices used to train the thoughts are now recommended by psychologists and infused into modern-day therapy.
However, you don’t need to start a meditation practice to learn how to control your thoughts. Let’s talk about some research-backed ways to build awareness and transform the thoughts that are holding you back.
8 Ways to Control your Thoughts
From ancient meditation to more modern approaches, today we have many tools to nurture healthy thought patterns.
These strategies will help you break free from the relentless cycle of self-doubt and change the mental record. Try these healthy ways to control your thoughts.
1. Change your mind—literally!
Did you know you can actually change the structure of your brain?
Modern technology enables scientists to understand why meditation and similar mind training methods work. It’s a quality of the brain known as neuroplasticity that allows you to rewire limited thought patterns into more healthy cycles of thought.
Step out of the tracks
In the brain, thoughts, patterns and behaviors act much like a railway track. Once you lay those tracks down, you tend to repeat those same pathways over and over.
The brain has potentially billions of these neural pathways. It’s a great mechanism for “good habits”, like learning a new instrument or skill. Everything becomes easier as you take those pathways again. (Can you imagine if it took as much effort to walk as it does for a toddler?)
But this mechanism can get in the way when it comes to destructive habits, like negative self talk. Your brain tends to repeat this type of inner dialogue almost automatically.
That’s when you need to reverse the train and lay the tracks in a new direction. Studies have found that our brains are adaptable. You can rewire your brain by recognizing thought patterns and practicing new ways of thinking.
You can literally reshape the neural pathways in your brain and lay the tracks for new, constructive ways of thinking.
Now that you believe it is possible, you can start taking action to change.
2. Identify your limiting beliefs
What does your inner voice say to you?
We all have a voice inside of our heads, a constant inner dialogue observing the world, working out problems, or forming opinions about this or that.
Does your inner voice fill you with confidence or limited beliefs? Does it say things like:
- “I’m not good with relationships.”
- “I’m never going to get what I want.”
- “Everyone is against me.”
- “I never have enough money.”
- “I could never start my own business.”
These kinds of limited beliefs take you away from what you want and need.
Unfortunately, most people don’t realize just how much that negative self-talk is running their lives, causing stress, anxiety, and perfectionism. The inner critic can hold you back from being your authentic self and living a joyful life.
Breaking those patterns starts with recognizing that they exist in the first place.
Spend the next week or two tracking some of your common limited beliefs. Do some of these thoughts tend to stand out more than others?
Narrow down your list to one that you’d like to focus on. Ask yourself: What new belief do you want to replace the old, limiting way of thinking?
Your job is to notice the limiting belief when it creeps into your language, actions, and thoughts. Now, replace that with your new affirmation. Repeat this process over time to guide your thoughts in a more positive, constructive direction.
3. Nix the “all or nothing” view
I often come across people who have the “all or nothing” view of life. They say things like:
- “I’m either successful or worthless”
- “I’m either smart or stupid.”
- “Someone is either right or wrong.”
This type of polarized thinking makes it difficult to move forward. Remember that mistakes give you a chance to learn and grow.
Does your inner voice demand perfection?
By overcoming perfectionism, you give yourself the space to experiment, try something new, and build a life outside of the walls of “being perfect”.
4. Practice changing the script
People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abraham Lincoln
If your inner dialogue sounds like a stream of constant judgment and self-doubt, it’s time to change the script.
Often, our inner scripts aren’t even our own. They can come from bullies from childhood, a toxic parent, or a naysayer in your life that just wanted to knock you down so they feel better about themselves.
But without you realizing it, these external voices become internalized and hold you back from believing in yourself.
To change these habits of self-criticism, and treat your relationship with yourself as you would with any loved one or friend. Instead of beating yourself up for every mistake and imperfection, practice acceptance and compassion for yourself.
Stop judging yourself
While you may think judging and blaming yourself will motivate you — it actually does the opposite. Self-compassion is more effective.
In her research on self-compassion, Dr. Kristen Neff found that being kind to yourself is a powerful way to become happier and more successful:
You may try to change in ways that allow you to be more healthy and happy, but this is done because you care about yourself, not because you are worthless or unacceptable as you are.
Dr. Kristen Neff
When you hear your inner critic, change the script. Speak to yourself as you would to a friend going through a hard time. Giving yourself the care and kindness you need in the moment will help you feel better — and it will help you succeed.
5. Develop a growth mindset
In 2006, Carol Dweck published a book called “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”. As a Professor of Psychology at Stanford University, she conducted a study of what makes people succeed. Her findings: it all comes down to mindset.
Her theory suggests two mindsets:
Fixed mindset:
The belief that people are born with a fixed amount of intelligence and ability.
Growth mindset:
The belief that, through hard work and practice, people can build intelligence and capability
People who tend to have a fixed mindset tend to stay stuck in life. After all, if you’ll never get better at something, what’s the point in trying?
People with a growth mindset believe they can become good at something with perseverance. They are more willing to tackle challenges and don’t pressure themselves to attain perfection. Instead, they focus on growth and improvement with time.
So if you want to succeed, shift to a growth mindset. You can start something new, and with practice, become better and better at it over time.
6. Stop listening to naysayers
Who you surround yourself with has a huge impact on your mindset and chances of success. I can’t express enough how important it is to surround yourself with people who encourage your dreams.
On the other hand, naysayers constantly cut you down. They say things like:
- “That sounds too difficult.”
- “If it’s such a good idea, someone else is probably doing it.”
- “What happens if you fail?”
Naysayers shut you down
Naysayers don’t just provide constructive criticism, which can help you recognize areas to improve in order to succeed. They shut down your ideas altogether.
Negative people don’t necessarily mean to harm you — sometimes they mean well. They may be trying to protect you from failure or protect themselves from uncertainty and change.
Even so, they can kill your confidence and put negative thoughts into your head. Don’t let someone else’s scarcity mindset hold you back.
If you recognize these kinds of people in life, walk away. If you have to spend time with them, don’t internalize their negative thoughts.
7. Respond instead of reacting
Knowing how to control your thoughts means learning to handle your response. You can do that by shifting from a place of reaction to a place of response.
Reaction:
Reaction is emotional. You take action immediately based on beliefs, biases, and prejudices without thinking. Your unconscious mind takes control.
Response:
When you respond, you take a moment to process your initial emotional reaction before taking action. You observe your emotions and thoughts before responding in a way that aligns with your core values.
The next time you notice an intense thought or emotion come up, take a moment. You may need to leave the room or take a few breaths.
Pause and reflect before taking action.
You will likely discover much better outcomes and avoid unnecessary conflict just by responding instead of reacting.
8. Get out of your own head (and get support)
Sometimes all we really need to do is get out of our heads for a bit and get an outside perspective. When you notice your brain running in circles, call a friend for support.
Sitting with a neutral third party, like a coach or therapist, can also help to recognize habits of negative self-talk.
When you sit with someone, they can provide feedback to your concerns, and prevent you from imagining every worst case scenario. This type of healthy discussion can inspire constructive thought patterns and give you a confidence boost when you lose your way.
It’s time to start believing that you can.
Big changes really do start from within. Turning patterns of self-doubt into self-belief will have a domino effect in every part of your life.
When you’re ready to make that transformation, we’re here to help.
We have online resources to walk you through tried and true methods of healthy thinking and support you along the way to building the life you want. Check out our course today and take control of your life.
