What is a why? It’s a question I get asked often – and one that can be tricky to answer.
If you’ve ever taken a stand for something or driven yourself to exhaustion aiming for a dream, then you have a why.
If you’ve set a boundary and enforced it, or opened your heart to someone or something that surprised you, you may have yet another why.
I’m talking about what motivates you to do what you’re doing at this stage of your life – it’s an endeavor that you’re focused on.
Whether it’s focusing on your family, switching careers, or digging into an exciting new project, your why can lead you in many directions.
If you’re feeling unmotivated, you’ve lost track of your why. It’s time to find out what lights you up now, because chances are, it’s different from the past.
Below I’m going to show you how purpose is vital to living a fulfilling life, and show you a number of ways to find your why.
Originally published on March 8th, 2018, this article was updated and republished on March 15th, 2023.
Defining Your Why: It’s Way More Than a Motivational Strategy
Why do you need a why?
Well, if you want to live a fulfilling and meaningful life, you need to uncover your purpose – the underlying ‘why’ that fuels your motivations, actions, and dreams.
Finding your why isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s essential to living a long and happy life. As numerous studies about purpose show, individuals with a deep sense of purpose are happier, more economically successful, and even live longer.
When you connect with your core values and understand your why, you can start to architect the life of your dreams and move closer to your ideal self.
Finding your why is almost like putting on glasses for the first time after being short-sighted for years. Suddenly, your path in life will become crystal clear.
Armed with your why, you can move purposefully towards your goals with a sense of confidence. You’ll make decisions easier, knowing instinctively what reflects your inner values and desires.
Your fears and disenchantment will give way to hope, peace, and resilience. You’ll be solutions-focused, and turn opportunities into challenges.
In living a life full of meaning, you’ll also connect profoundly with others. With your heightened empathy and innate wisdom activated, you’ll naturally nurture meaningful, rewarding relationships with people that resonate on the same energy level.
How to Find Your Why: 5 Methods for Uncovering Purpose
If you don’t yet know your why, you’re not alone. Research shows that 60% of Americans feel depressed and aimless at work, indicating unfulfillment and a severe disconnect between what many of us are currently doing in our day-to-day lives and our innate whys.
But these feelings aren’t a bad thing. In fact, they’re a signal – a way that our souls are trying to capture our attention and notify us that we’re not currently aligned.
But how do we move from yearning for a why to actually finding it? The steps below are a great place to start.
1. Tap Into Your Core Values
Sometimes, we get so caught up in our external responsibilities that we forego our intrinsic wants and desires. We become disconnected from our core values and often feel like something is missing, but we don’t know exactly what.
If this sounds like you, then:
Take Some Time to Self-Reflect
Find out what you’re passionate about, your beliefs and values, and what brings you a sense of fulfillment.
To start with, think about creating a highlight reel of your past experiences. Look back at times when you felt like your most authentic self, when you showed courage, and when you felt aligned.
Then, consider the people you admire and ponder what they stand for. Quickly, you’ll notice common themes start to arise – things like altruism, excellence, and integrity – that signify your core values.
If you’d like a little extra support, you can use tools like the DISC profile assessment to begin uncovering your strengths and build upon them.
2. Nourish Your Passions
When you were younger, what activities could you spend hours doing, feeling like no time had passed at all? Maybe it was playing sports, writing songs, or reading.
Get Back on Track
Whatever hobby enriched your life when you were younger, incorporate it back into your life today.
Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi found that doing something you love, be it work or play, transcends you into a flow state.
When you’re in this state, you tap into your innate sagacity, becoming more aware of what matters to you and, ultimately, your why.
If your childhood hobbies fail to ignite a sense of passion within you, be brave, get out there, and try something new! Approach finding your passion with a sense of curiosity and playfulness.
As you meet new people and expand your horizons, you’ll uncover new sources of inspiration that bring you closer to your all-important why.
3. Lean On Your Support System
A huge part of finding why is finding the link between what you’re good at and what you can do in service of others. But if you struggle with self-doubt and perfectionism, you may find it hard to pinpoint your strengths and give yourself the credit you deserve.
Get a Helping Hand
If you’re unsure what your strengths are, why not ask the people you’re closest to what they think you’re good at and what they admire about you?
You’ll likely find that the people you love and trust know you a lot better than you realized, and they’ll be able to offer you some useful insights that steer you in the right direction.
4. Volunteer In Your Community
We all have charitable interests that are close to our hearts. Whether it’s helping animals, championing disability rights, or advocating to end homelessness, you’ll undoubtedly have a few causes that strike a chord with your soul.
By volunteering with a charity that aligns with these values, you can make great headway toward realizing your why.
What Volunteering Does For You
Volunteering will empower you to connect with like-minded people, learn new skills and discover the type of activities that bring you joy.
5. Journal Often
Journaling is a wonderful way to organize your thoughts and feelings on paper, help you to keep track of your goals, detangle problems and improve your relationship with yourself.
I’m especially a fan of journaling for challenging and reframing negative thoughts. Self-confidence and self-esteem are crucial to living out your why, empowering you to approach new people, try new things, and step outside of your comfort zone.
On the flip side, negative thought patterns can restrict your life, preventing you from following your passions and keeping you stuck in a rut.
Self Confident or Beating Yourself Up?
Use journaling as a tool to discover the cycle of your thoughts, and start replacing limiting beliefs with positive statements.
It’s Time to Unleash Your Potential
It takes courage to admit that your life needs to change. If you’ve been looking for a sign, this is it.
Your intrinsic why is lying dormant in your soul, waiting to be discovered – and I can help you awaken it.
My new book will give you all the tools you need to discover your true identity and discover your passion in life.
Start reaching for the purpose-filled badass life of your dreams today!